A rose by any other name
August 27, 2020
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Mathew 16: 13-20 (NIV)
13 When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”
14 They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”
15 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”
16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”
17 Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. 18 And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” 20 Then he ordered his disciples not to tell anyonethat he was the Messiah.
“Who do people say the son of man is?”, “Who do you say I am?”
We do love our labels, verbal shorthand designed to fit things and people into little boxes but they don’t always fit neatly into the space we construct for them. There is more complexity in most things.
The consensus around what fits into the box labelled “family” has changed much in the last 50 years. The nuclear family was once Mum and Dad who were married and the 2.4 children, the statistical average number in the UK.
Younger readers might not even be aware that in the past there were real stigmas around anything which did not conform to that standard. Labels were applied to unmarried mothers, children born out of wedlock, unmarried couples living together and divorcees.
Things change, for example the old Scottish term “bidie-in” has been superseded by the word “partner”. Both mean more or less the same but one is used as a description and the other tended to be loaded with tacit disapproval. Another description for unmarried cohabiting couples was “living in sin”. Some grandparents who now happily welcome their grandchild’s partner (and their great grandchildren) into their family and home would have ostracised their son or daughter in the same circumstances 50 years earlier.
We have developed new ways to help us describe sometimes complex and blended family relationships. As a society we have come a very long way in the sphere of families in healing old wounds. In the realisation that different models of family are just as valid, just as loving. Most of us have moved away from using hurtful words thrown like verbal stones of disapproval.
Words and labels should be chosen with care and with kindness. Choosing and using the right language is a first small step in the journey towards heartfelt acceptance.
PRAYER:
Words can be weapons,
Names can be knifes that cut deep into the soul
Words can wipe away conflict,
Names can nurture healing, bring unity
Help us to choose them carefully
Help us to choose them with kindness
Forgive us when we have not always done so
Amen.
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