Types of love

Fiona Reynolds April 18, 2024 6 2

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John 21: 15-19 (NRSVA)

15 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’ 16 A second time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Tend my sheep.’ 17 He said to him the third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ And he said to him, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep. 18 Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.’ 19 (He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, ‘Follow me.’

For me, one of the most important things these verses offer is lost in the English translation. We read that Jesus asks Peter three times “do you love me?” And three times, Peter answers, “I love you.” The Greek text tells us something different. In Greek there are various words that are translated into the English word ‘love’, and they all mean something slightly different. Two of these Greek words are used in these verses.

Let me try to demonstrate…

Jesus: Do you AGAPAS me?

Peter: You know I PHILO you.

Jesus: Do you AGAPAS me?

Peter: You know I PHILO you.

Jesus: Do you PHILO me?

Peter: You know I PHILO you.

The word ‘agapas’ suggests the love of God, whilst ‘philo’ is something more akin to fondness. So, whilst I am no Greek scholar, perhaps a helpful distinction might be between how God loves me versus how I love crochet.

For whatever reason, Peter cannot declare ‘agapas’ love for Jesus. Jesus tries again, but Peter still cannot go there. And so Jesus meets Peter where he is, at that moment. It is from that moment of being deeply seen, known, and accepted that Peter can go on to do all he does in the name of Jesus. May it be so with us.

Prayer:

All-loving, all-knowing God,

may our souls rejoice in being fully seen

and fully loved;

may our lives reflect the love you give

and the love we receive;

may our world be taken on a journey

from rejection to acceptance,

from hatred to love,

from war to peace,

and from inequity to justice;

may it be so, AMEN.