Mary’s Diary: He’s Here

Lily Cathcart December 20, 2021 0 1

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Luke 2: 6-7 (NRSVA)

6 While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. 7 And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

Up until this moment, meeting an angel was hands down the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me. But now I’m holding a baby, my baby, and for a moment everything else seems like nothing, even the angel. For a moment I don’t care who his dad is and I don’t think about what that might mean. I just look at him, sleeping from the exhaustion of being born, and stare in loving wonder.

I know it won’t always feel this amazing, I’ve seen my friends become mothers. Behind these emotions there is a body that will never be what it was before, there’s the fact that my family is so far away and that I feel all alone, despite people being kind. There is the memory, fading even now, of how much that hurt and how loud I screamed. There are his tiny perfect hands but also his loud and strong lungs which have already found the pitch which will tear at my heart in the night until I pick him up and cuddle and feed him until I’m so tired I start to cry myself.

It’s not how I dreamed it would happen, when I imagined my firstborn, but I wouldn’t change anything because it means I get him. And he’s worth it all. I have a feeling I will not be the only one to say that. Yes, he’s worth everything and I know his dads think so too.

PRAYER:

Dear God of little ones

Thank you that you love us all no matter how old or young

Help us all to see the potential in each new life on this earth.

Bring us all, like children, to your side

and reassure us as we face a sometimes hard and uncertain world.

Love us as you love your son

Amen