Inferior
Psalm 139
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
Lord, fill me afresh with your peace and your presence.
I feel so inferior when I look at the way other people live their lives.
They’re always in control, never slipping up, always getting it right!
You say: that I am loved with an everlasting love.
Then, Lord, I see the success in their lives.
Lawyers, Doctors, Managing Directors of companies, Teachers and here am I in an ordinary job…
You say: to consider the lilies of the fields, they do not labour but are beautiful to see.
Lord, feeling inferior creates in me a need to be needed
and that’s when I forget to turn to you for help and keep striving for the more which I can’t quite grasp.
You say: that we can come to you and find rest.
Lord, when I feel inferior I struggle with jealousy and resentment.
You say: you search me and know me and in the knowing I realise that you love me beyond price.
Father, you know me better than I even begin to know myself.
Forgive me for not valuing your creative love in me.
Release me from feeling inferior so that I might praise you knowing that,
“I am fearfully and wonderfully made”.
AMEN
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